For instance: this week, one friend posted about how her two month year old laughed and rolled over, another friend posted about how their kid (who I don't think is even two) used the potty...and it made me pause and then the worrying started...
Maybe I should preface it with this: it has been an extremely challenging week with my two year old daughter. Baby boy had a dr. appointment on Wednesday, which she was a handful at (ie: escaping out of the room while I was talking to the dr and round the corner and down the hall before I could catch up with her and then trying to escape every chance she got while I blocked the door). On Thursday, we started attending a Community Bible Study and she lost it when I tried to get her to go to her classroom and not stay with her baby brother. And by lost it, I mean prolonged screaming, flailing, hitting, etc. And it was hard for me as her mom to deal with that kind of behavior...
So, when I read about when this kid (who was quite younger than my daughter) was already using the potty, I nearly flipped because my daughter refuses to do anything with her potty...at all. And one by one, I know that alot of my friends who have kids her age have wrote about their successes with potty training. I get it: it's exciting. I'm sure I will do the same. But right now, it makes me feel like I'm just failing my kid. That somehow my child is not doing what she is supposed to do. I've been told that she is probably a bit immature for her age. And it hasn't been the first time: a few months ago, it was more about her language development. A year and a half ago, it was about her not walking until 15 months...and so on and so on. It's not the first time and it won't be the last.
But thankfully, I have great mommy friends who remind me that my child is special and wonderful and is doing things on her own timing. It doesn't make her immature or lesser than her peers, it is just a part of who she is right now. She's a two year old- and she will have tantrums, she will refuse to do things, she may not do things the way other kids are doing right now, but at this age, that really doesn't mean anything except we need to continue to work on it and just relax a bit. I know it will come- she will adjust to bible study, she will learn to use the potty, her language will develop more, the tantrums will even out. And for all those rough moments, there are equally as sweet moments this week. She loves life- she is outgoing and personable, full of laughter and hugs and kisses and singing. And while she may not be doing one thing that others are doing, she does have quite a lot of successes in other areas...
So, what I have to remind myself daily: do not compare my child with any other child. It will only lead to frustration and disappointment. If there is something not developing normally, I am sure that will come out at a doctor's appointment and in the meantime, no worries. The normal range of development in these young ones is huge and our kids don't have to do things the earliest or the fastest or be the best at everything. We don't need any overachievers at two years or two months. And for well-meaning people who like to make those comparisons for us, please stop.(And I'm not even talking about those moms who do that to make other people feel lesser- I know those moms exist and I'm sure I will encounter them in the future-thankfully, I haven't yet. But when I do, I won't put up with it. I think for those moms,we all have to speak up and put a stop to it for the sake of our kids and the common bond of mommyhood).
Here is what I'm trying to hold onto daily: we will have good days and bad days, but I must focus on the good. Parenting has its ups and downs, it's trials and successes. Focus on the positive and put the negative in perspective. And remember that little girl and baby boy are huge bundles of blessings, showing us God's love, grace and sense of humor every day.
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| My only good type of comparison- aren't my babies darling at 2 months? |
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